I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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