Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My feet surprised me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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