I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
