fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
