my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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