i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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