last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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