Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
