birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I had to cum in my sink.
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