I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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