Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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