I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
where does the pee come out of this thing
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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