Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
