she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
