I heard we made out
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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