Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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