Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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