And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
