No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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