I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
