I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize