Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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