What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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