Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
