my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Randomize
