he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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