I think im going to throw up on grandma
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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