Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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