she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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