That's intense
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
