hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
