didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
