I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
