But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize