Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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