pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
