You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
