i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
