I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize