Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
