We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
