Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
