She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
