Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Are we still banned from the library?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
