At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
two words: eviction party
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
