clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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