PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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