Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
