thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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