This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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