I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
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