"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize