...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
