So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
