I CAN MOONWALK!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
