all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
