In the future we'll all be gay
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
