ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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