So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
